Written by Cathy Chambliss, LMFT
One of the most common mistakes I see in couples coming in for counseling together is that they have stopped spending time alone together. Yes, this can be a huge challenge when you have children and one or both partners work. Free time is very limited between soccer games, homework, keeping up with taking care of your house, careers, cooking, shopping, etc. Many couples say they just don’t have the free time to go out or that they like spending time with their kids on the weekends because they don’t see them much during the week.
Of course, all of these reasons to not spend time alone with your spouse are valid and understandable. The problem is that you wake up one day and look at your spouse and they feel more like a roommate than a lover. When you make the time to go out on dates, it gives you the opportunity to remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. When you are out on a date, you can communicate without being interrupted, you can do fun activities together and have fun, you can look at each other like a romantic partner , rather than a roommate.
Yes, dating your spouse can cost some money. You have to hire a babysitter and pay for whatever activity you decide to do. However, the money invested in your marriage will help you marriage to prosper and grow.
I recommend that couples strive for date night once a week. If that is not feasible , then a minimum of twice per month.
If you have need of couples therapy, please call Cathy today at (310) 303-9132